Cenamus vs Macklemore
by ladyknights104
Summary: Sheamus rap's, Cena beat-boxes. Who's idea was this? Oh yeah...LET THE HILARITY ENSUE! Cenamus


**HELLO MY LITTLE KITTENS! (Couldn't come up with an intelligent title) This is something I decided to do because I was bored and is still trying to completely figure out chapter 6 of Shinderella. I mean I have a general idea of what's gonna happen but I just need to make a solid contemplation (if you can even call it that). Enjoy!**

"I'm not doing it!"

"Come on Shea, it'll be fun!"

"You always say that about these things but then we both look like idiots."

"Hey, at least I share the heat with you."

"I know that, but what you're suggesting is crazy."

"I don't see why you're so nervous about it, we spent all night yesterday practicing!"

"I really wish we didn't…..we probably freaked out the neighbors."

"Yeah….but still we can't waste all that effort!"

"Sure we can."

"How?"

"Just walking away."

"But what fun is that!"

"You think getting punched in the face is fun?"

"Well….it _can _be fun, like when me and you wrestle for fun."

"Shut up John the only reason that's fun is because it ends with sex!"

"I still have a point! Come on I've been wanting do this ever since I heard it!"

"Then do it by yourself!"

"No way I don't want to look like a dork!"

"So you want us both to look like dorks?"

"Well…..that's not my intended goal but sure."

"Fella…..you are something else."

John hears a door click and looks over. "Oh they're here now's our chance!"

"I don't want to get punched in the face! He probably already had it in for me!"

"Why? You haven't done anything to him?"

"Fella….listen to how I talk, look at where I'm from."

"Ah, point taken. But still you could kick his ass any day plus I'll be right behind you!"

Sheamus sighed. "Fine, but you owe me _big time _for this!"

"Hey you're just lucky I'm not having us do Gangnam style!"

"Yeah…..alright let's do this!"

John and Sheamus walked over to their targets, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter.

"Hey fellas can I talk ta ya for a minute?"

Jack Swagger and Zeb stopped and looked at Sheamus and John.

"What do you want?" Swagger asked, annoyed.

Sheamus took a deep, shaky breath. "Oh I just wanted you to know that I'm gonna pop some tags, only got twenty dollars in my pocket~. I-I-I'm hunting, lookin' for a come up. This is fucking awesome!"

Jack Swagger and Zeb looked at Sheamus like 'what the fuck' before John started beat boxing behind Sheamus.

"Walk up to the club like 'What up I got a big cock!' I'm so pumped about some shit from the thrift shop! Ice on the fringe is so damn frosty people like 'damn that's a cold ass honkey!' Rollin' in hella deep headin' to the mezzanine. Dressed in all pink 'cept my gator shoes those are green draped in a leopard mink. Cena standin' next to me probably shoulda washed this, smells like Zeb Colter's sheets."

Jack Swagger and Zed looked at Sheamus confused before John popped up from behind Sheamus. "Piiisssssss."

That caused both Jack Swagger and Zed to become angry but Sheamus still didn't stop.

"But shit it was ninety-nine cents! Bag it coppin' it washin' it 'bout to go get some compliments. Passin' up on those moccasins someone else had been walkin' in. But me and Johnny fuckin' it man. I am stuntin' and flossin' and savin' my money and I'm hella happy that's a bargain bitch! I'ma take the 'Taker's style, I'ma take the 'Taker's style. No for real, ask the 'Taker, can I have his hand-me-downs? Velour jumpsuit and some house slippers, dookie brown leather jacket that I found diggin'. They had a broken keyboard. I bought a skeet blanket, then I bought a kneeboard. Hello, hello, my ace man, me Mello. JBL ain't got nothing on my fringe game, Hell No."

Zeb tried to interrupt Sheamus, but he just wasn't fast enough. Actually by now said Irishman was actually having fun.

"I could take some Pro Wings, make them cool, sell those. The sneaker heads would be like 'Aw he got the Velcros' I'm gonna pop some tags only got twenty dollars in my pocket. I-I-I'm hunting, looking for a come up. This is fucking awesome~! What you know about rockin' a wolf on your noggin? What you knowin' about wearin' a fur fox skin? I'm digging, I'm digging, I'm searching right through that luggage. One man's trash, that's another man's come-up."

Sheamus gestured at Zeb.

"And ask your granddad why he donated that button up shirt 'cause Cena somehow got me in a skirt. I'm at the Goodwill, you can find me in the Upton's. I'm not, I'm not sick of searchin' in that section. Your grammy, your aunty, your momma, your mammy I'll take those flannel Cenation jammies, second-hand, I rock that motherfucker. The built-in onesie with the socks on that motherfucker. I hit the party and they stop in that motherfucker. They be like, "Oh, that Gucci - that's hella tight." I'm like, "Yo - that's fifty dollars for a T-shirt." Limited edition, let's do some simple addition, Fifty dollars for a T-shirt - that's just some ignorant bitch shit. I call that getting swindled and pimped shit. I call that getting tricked by a business. That shirt's hella dough, and having the same one as six other people in this club is a hella don't. Peep game, come take a look through my telescope. Trying to get girls from a brand? Man you hella won't…man you hella won't."

Now it was John's turn to take the wheel which Sheamus was a little grateful for because rapping is harder than it looks.

"I'm gonna pop some tags only got twenty dollars in my pocket. I-I-I'm hunting, looking for a is fucking awesome~! I wear your granddad's clothes. I look incredible. I'm in this big ass coat from that thrift shop down the road. I wear your granddad's clothes. I look incredible. I'm in this big ass coat from that thrift shop down the road. I'm gonna pop some tags only got twenty dollars in my pocket. I-I-I'm hunting, looking for a come-up. This is fucking awesome~!"

John then reached forward and pulled at Zeb's vest. "Is that your grandma's coat?"

Sheamus and John watched Jack Swagger and Zeb fume for a little while before glancing at each other and running away laughing.

* * *

Later that night John and Sheamus were in their hotel room. They were both in bed with John on top of Sheamus, slowly kissing each other. John moved down to Sheamus' neck, but then a thought occurred to the Irishman.

"Hey John…"

John hummed, letting Sheamus know that he was listening.

"How pissed do you think those two are?"

John stopped and paused for a moment before looking up at Sheamus with a raised eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

Sheamus paused for a moment before answering. "I think I felt a disturbance in the force."

Both John and Sheamus were silent for a few minutes before Sheamus shrugged.

"It's probably nothing."

And so they continued their activities, not caring about how two assholes named Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter were still fuming.

**Yeah….not much to say other than that I altered the lyrics a bit to make it a little funnier. Imagine if they actually did this! I think it might just be be a bigger win than Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo's parody video of Zebby and Swagger! Reviews are love! **

**Love and yaoi**

_**~ladyknights104 **_


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